Narcissism Sensemaker

We are relational beings. Positivity in relationships is contagious. So is toxicity.

We are relational beings.
Positivity in relationships is contagious. So is toxicity.

If you believe you are having a narcissist in your life – may it be at home, in your family, circle of friends, in your community or at work – you are most likely to ask yourself one of these questions depending on context and proximity of the relationship:

● How can I deal with a narcissist that is JUST there in my life?
● What is the relational impact when somebody is self-centred and manipulative?
● How to navigate relations and conversations with a narcissist?
● Can I afford to stand my ground without fear of unpredictable repercussions?
● Can I fix him and her?
● Will love conquer everything?
● What is happening here? How does this behaviour make sense?
● Am I going crazy?
● Will I always walk on eggshells?
● What is happening to ME in this relationship?
● What are the manipulation techniques of narcissists?
● Relationship ambiguity: too good to leave, too bad to stay?
● How to let go of a toxic relationship? Necessary endings and new beginnings?
● How do narcissistic parents influence their kids?
● How can I survive and thrive after break-up and set myself up for success?

My focus is not on the narcissist but on you, the one having to deal with a narcissist. It is you who needs to protect yourself from power plays and establish healthy boundaries. It is you, that wants to be strong, empowered and equipped to navigate or end the relationship with a narcissist.

Isn’t it time to be celebrated rather than tolerated?

“Toxic people make you think you’re holding a grudge

when you’re really holding a boundary.”

“Toxic people make you think you’re holding a grudge when you’re really holding a boundary.”

Criteria of Narcissism

Narcissism is often described as excessive self-love – but it is rather being in love with a grandiose, inflated image of the self rather than healthy self-esteem. This idealized image protects them from confronting their deep feelings of insecurity and discovery of their true self.

Narcissistic patterns include a lack of empathy, inconsiderate and self-centered behaviour, a need for admiration and being important and superior. They can make a fantastic first impression and come across as charming, intelligent, witty, and magnetic only to reveal signs of arrogance, manipulation, entitlement, and explosive behaviour later. They can show unhealthy and unpredictable behaviour to even slightest and non-intended criticism and disagreements. For them life is a game or a battle with the aim to win. Their manipulation tactics include blaming, projecting, gaslighting, silent treatment, belittling and recreating of reality (denial).

The American Psychiatric Association has a classification of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) and defines it as “an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), a sense of entitlement, a need for admiration and lack of empathy.

People with NPD exhibit at least 5 or more of the DSM-5 criteria:

    ● An exaggerated sense of self-importance
   ● A sense of superiority
   ● Exaggerating achievements and talents
   ● Pre-occupation with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the erfect mate
   ● A need for constant admiration
   ● A strong sense of entitlement
   ● A lack of empathy towards others
   ● Expecting special favours and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
   ● A habit of taking advantage
   ● An inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
   ● An envy of others and the belief to be envied by others
   ● An arrogant attitude or haughty manner

Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

One of few conditions where the patient is left alone

and everyone else is treated.

How I can support you…

Narcissism exists on a spectrum from displaying a few common traits to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). My work as a coach and sensemaker is not about establishing the degree of narcissism in a person but to assist a client who feels mistreated or negatively affected by someone with hurtful, dysfunctional attitudes and self-centred, manipulative behaviours.

Get the support you need:

● Make sense of the relational dynamics with a narcissistic person.
● Learn how to deal with a narcissist – get tools to set boundaries and to navigate the relationship. Re-tool your soul.
● Come to grips with the manipulation techniques of narcissists (e.g., gaslighting).
● Question your own feelings to gain greater self-knowledge.
● Understand your hurt and your response and thinking patterns.
● Respond rather than react (become response-able).
● Create emotional fitness and become unsinkable.
● Decide whether to stay or to move on.
● Deal with separation and divorce.
● Find your true north and self-worth.
● Reclaim your own power.

“Untangling” the components in your relational dynamics will help you to gain clarity and discover your options and tools on how to manoeuvre the relationship and the impacts on you and others.

Isn’t it worth it to live a life true to yourself?

“Disrespecting your boundaries and agreeing to things

to just keep the peace is actually a trauma response.”

“Disrespecting your boundaries and agreeing to things to just keep the peace is actually a trauma response.”