Speak UP
Find a high-quality NO
Speak UP – Find a high-quality NO
Speak UP! Although it sounds simple enough, when confronted with toxic behaviour, emotional or physical abuse (including the silent treatment), unjustified expectations or demands, speaking UP does not come easy to everyone.
Speaking UP starts with an inner conviction and the decision to draw a line in the sand, no further explanation or justification is needed. You give yourself permission to say NO. A high-quality NO!
I leant the term from the philosopher E. Tolle, and it implies that the NO is firm – given without heightened anger, justification, guilt, apologies, or judgment. This NO comes from a place of inner strength and allows you to take back your own power.
If a NO is required but not expressed, it can mean that you or afraid of rejection, or feel the need to self-protect. You may be anxious and not ready to bear the consequences. You might be overwhelmed or lack inner and outer capacity and resources to implement a high-quality NO.
A compliant YES seems easier…it forestalls the storm for the time being.
Do you struggle to say NO?
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What makes you stay in the yes-NO-maybe turnstile?
- What are you afraid of losing if you say NO?
- Which boundaries have been violated or stretched?
- What about the consequences of a NO? What are the implications?
- How do you feel about “more of the same creates more of the same?”
- What are you hoping for?
- What would a high-quality NO give you?
Sometimes in life, we have a choice between two non-ideal outcomes, but while the one leaves us in victim mode, the other empowers us to find a path where we can live closer to our own inner truth and values. What initially looks like loss can be freedom in the long run.
Let’s say YES to NO, I’d love to hear your story about your high-quality NO or lack thereof.
Love, Ulrike